Click to Win!

"I keep slapping my face in disbelief, now I'm stuck this way!"

Win a Trip to Click Here Disneyland!

Mickey always makes bitches ride in the back.
Also, that's a creepy Santa.

We've missed you!

Ok, anything that's "free!*" isn't free. Asterisks aren't free.
Offer ends soon, though, as the cones are sinking in the void.

REVOLVE IS ON FACEBOOK!

To someone not in the know, what could all this possibly mean?
Also, OOC means "out of control". Yeah, I didn't know that either.

Show your colors!

Parts of the gay community also enjoy "colors" and leather vests.
However, "Live to Ride" means something completely different there.

BUY ONE GET ONE FREE!

$10 seems too much to pay for fake roadkill plushies.
Also, I'm revoking your alliteration license due to abuse.

Cleans Anything!

Anything, huh? My cat just vomited kibble and evacuated
his bowels in the shag carpet. Better get my Quick Cloth!

Fashion lingerie for 3 days only!

After three days, the lingerie is no longer fashionable.
Also, does anyone else see snake eyes in that brassiere?

Salads and more at lightening speed!

"Lightening" is the process of adding light to a composition. Fail.

Come in TODAY for some liquid sunshine!

"Liquid sunshine" sounds like a designer street drug.