The Motherload - Catalog Ads

On second thought.. pile up ALL the savings into one giant heap.

The proportions of the people in this ad are, well, ridiculous.
Also, mammy's packing a bigger bulge than pops over there.

Because "Luster Cream" is just so pedestrian.

Spots!? I should just end it all right now! (sob)

Look as glamorous as this cartoon representation of a
Hollywood starlet. I'd go with the color "blue red".

Just for you, (random nameless person)!

Remove that unwanted butter sweat from your sweet chapeau!

It's technically not an exclamation point, though she does look
Like she's about to enjoy some excitement with it "downstairs".

You're halfway to becoming the Penguin from "Batman".

THE GREAT VEGAN SHOE SALE!

Well, you know, I refuse to eat eggs and pork tenderloin,
and these shoes look delicious. I think we have a winner!

FRESH PANTS!

They sell used, crusty pants on those 'other' sites.

It's not a dream!

First of all, that's a pretty sloppy trim job on the cutout girl.
Secondly, no one dreams of free shipping. Even on some purchases.

One Day Only!

Act now! Our stock of male Amelia Earhart outfits and
yin-yang La Femme Nikita outfits are going fast!

MEGA MAKEUP SALE!

If you have 247 favorites,
then you don't know what the word "favorite" means.

It's a SALE!

Putting a mohawk on a purse dog does not qualify as a boutique.
It's like saying something freeze dried in a can is gourmet.

25% OFF selected product!

Are you using the word "product" as a collective noun?
Or is there really only one product selected for 25% off?

$39 Booties... PLUS Free Shipping!!

Someone put the Photoshop eraser tool to that babe's legs so badly,
Any normal human being simply could not walk on those toothpicks.

END OF SUMMER SALE!

Awesome! Glad I don't have to spend full price to look this stupid.

REVOLVE IS ON FACEBOOK!

To someone not in the know, what could all this possibly mean?
Also, OOC means "out of control". Yeah, I didn't know that either.

Fashion lingerie for 3 days only!

After three days, the lingerie is no longer fashionable.
Also, does anyone else see snake eyes in that brassiere?

For Divas that dance!

It's like "I Dream of J-Lo"
I believe the bag is full of categorical odors?

Stock Up And Make Mom Proud!

Yeah, because mom would love it if you bought
underwear for yourself on Mother's Day.

One for Me & One for You!

OMFG what is that thing stealing a baby?
Janice the Muppet has come to life!

ALL SPRING 2010 ONLY!!

Nothing says "Happy 4th" like giant preteens on the beach.

You'll wear them everywhere!

Usually an asterisk implies fine print.
This one, however, appears to be just for garnish.

Pay only for 4!

I didn't realize the "get one free" expression had become a faux pas.