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Ah yes, this looks like the sort of face any consumer
of sound mind makes when selected domain hosting services.

Here's a Massive 50% Off!

I made a new year's resolution about avoiding indulgences.
Can I please have just a small 50% off instead?

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Awkwardly enough, I believe this means items cost 30% more.

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Using a coupon code is greater than shop now. It's math, you know.

TO CELEBRATE OUR BIG NEWS!

Sentences better with a verb!

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Oh to be able to shop with such a fervor!

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You can barely tell that Joe Schmo was superimposed in this...

Nothing says free like "FREE*". Sure, there's no catch involved...
Where's the mosquito? Is it that weird brain creature on the right?

Wholey Moley!

Yay for strange homophone puns. So many bursts in your face!

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SORRY!

What an artistic way to break the bad news.

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Well, this looks completely legitimate. Cheers to you for
thinking you'll need six digits to serialize these coupons.

$10DAY!

Suddenly, those days when you feel like a million bucks
seem so impossibly out of the question.

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Translation: Adopt your own pair of giant eyeballs.
Glad they included a banner and a button to let me know it's free.

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You're big enough to have a toll free number, but no company name?

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Tired of awful deals? Just turn to this awful ad!

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Though this barely constitutes an advertisement,
Can we all agree it should be 50 days to save? Note the theme.

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They buffed that ad floor squeaky clean. Look at that shine!

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We don't care if you're thrilled, or even pleased with our services.
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