Lifeless "Middle-Age" Skin!

The smoothest skin to hide some gnarly-rotten teeth.
Maybe it's just the contrast from pearly whites on her neck.

CAN'T BITE!

Ooh, free booklet on pipe care.
Does that booklet also teach you those sweet moves on the ladies?

When two at last shove off together!

Yes, most husbands take great interest in choosing housewares.
What a great way to advertise Pyrex's patented heat resistance.

SO REAL IT HURTS!

Remember when video game ads made it easy for parents to disapprove?

Pleasant smoking!

Gee, thanks Santa, I always wanted lung cancer for Christmas!

OIL ON MY BUGGY!

Vintage exclamation abuse!
You shush me, though it's ok for you to yell?