Fresh Roll Goes Here!

In fairness, no one expects a product called "Fresh Roll"
To have particularly clever or good packaging...

PROTECT against gunk!

Every year we lose 13,500 Americans to gunk-related incidents...
Don't let gunk make you the next victim.

Before your next meal!

You better do it, you slob!

EVERYBODY WINS AT MARK MARTIN!

GREAT GIFT IDEA! "Here you are, honey, happy mother's day!"
"How did you know I wanted chemicals for my car? I love it!"

We Can Help You!

Don't turn into a grieving gypsy with a bowl cut, call today!
Al$o, $pelling word$ like thi$ alway$ look$ legitimate...

Cleans Anything!

Anything, huh? My cat just vomited kibble and evacuated
his bowels in the shag carpet. Better get my Quick Cloth!

Revolutionary Broom Line!

Don't you think the word "revolutionary" is a bit much?
It's a cleaning surface on a stick; you didn't re-invent the wheel.

Ideal for Pet Owners!

I imagine a two-headed dog sitting on giant Cheetos would stink, yeah.

8 HUGE! ROLLS

Although [HUGE!] is a big deal, [=20] is an even bigger one...