14 others fertilized your crops!

By the way, Zynga, the company that owns Farmville and many others,
is a $4 billion a year company. Surely we can all see why...

Great Neighbors!

It's sad Farmville makes Zynga so much money. Look at this mess.
Also, is that a field of Pop Tarts and creamed spinach?

AT HOME WITH YOUR KIDS!

Turn my home into a living nightmare with no escape?
Toddlers screaming and destroying stuff? Sign me up!

You could WIN Instantly!

Match three symbols and they will dispense from your printer.

4th OF JULY SALE!

This ad reeks of bargain blowout. Ooh, 50% off an "Arcadem Pro"!
Guess they thought more than one product would look too busy.

Hurry...Don't Delay!!

How foolish I was to think one needs money for a shopping spree..
Also, notice the space provided on the form for "Spa Consultant".

Thank you!! 39

You're very welcome!!
                      -Your pal, 40.

BB2 On Sale!!!

Should customers know what this means?
It looks like text message shorthand.

Hello, Yellow!

I'm just mad about saffron... and first-grade rhyming in ads.

Free Kids Summer Reading Programs!

Um, pretty sure you never have to pay for a summer reading program..

GAME OVER!

Jeez, way to be all excited about me losing...

One More Time!

Though this barely constitutes an advertisement,
Can we all agree it should be 50 days to save? Note the theme.

20 WINNERS EVERY DAY!

I've never heard of Delimex before, and it sounds like a Pokemon.
Also, the words "taquito" and "royale" should never be juxtaposed.

Diets Don't Work!!!

"The secret is our revolutionary blend of tapeworms and laxatives."

SO REAL IT HURTS!

Remember when video game ads made it easy for parents to disapprove?

Marketing Tools on the Net!

Marketing tools always make me want to do the Zippity Doo-Dah dance.

PLAY NOW!

Yeah, fantasy football makes me feel betrayed or nauseous as well.

ALL SPRING 2010 ONLY!!

Nothing says "Happy 4th" like giant preteens on the beach.

MATTRESS CAPITAL!

This ad reeks of imagination and creativity.
They couldn't put even one stock photo of a mattress?

LET THE FIN BEGIN!

The final leg of the Louisiana driving tour.
Ooh, all caps, a pun and exclamation point? It's the perfect storm!

OUR GUEST!

Still on tour in Louisiana. It looks like BE jumped ship.
Sadly, those words might indicate one dish and not two.

It's Really Quick!

Meanwhile, on tour in Louisiana... Ooh, quick burgers, my favorite!

Sew This!

Exclamania on tour this weekend in Louisiana. More to come!

99 DAYS OF MORE!

But on day 100 they rip it all away from you. Also... what?

Bust Your Cart with Savings!

"Bust your cart" sounds like something they do on MTV's Jackass.

Take Action!

They buffed that ad floor squeaky clean. Look at that shine!

Even tho' they're flavored!

She looks like she doesn't have a thought in her head.

SAVE 20%-75% ON ALL LIVESTOCK IN-STORE!

Save on livestock? You guys got cattle grazing in the store, do ya?
Wow, all these exclamation points just for Boxing Day...

Satisfaction 100% Guaranteed!

We don't care if you're thrilled, or even pleased with our services.
But we insist that you are 100% satisfied. Here's our generic stamp.

You'll wear them everywhere!

Usually an asterisk implies fine print.
This one, however, appears to be just for garnish.

Exclusive Tony Stewart Posters!

I wouldn't go so far to say he looks smokin' hot here.
Although the moose knuckle is a nice touch...

The amount you owe!

Someone stop this crazy lady before she takes her
imaginary chainsaw and cuts the laptop in half.

43% real cheese!

Another visitor submission!
They just couldn't commit to 44% real cheese.

Pleasant smoking!

Gee, thanks Santa, I always wanted lung cancer for Christmas!

YOU COULD WIN! A PRIZE EVERY HOUR!

It's hard to exclaim all that in one breath, I realize.

SCHOLARSHIP GIVEAWAY!

Hurry up, it's already quarter past July 15th!
It's easy to lose track of time when web surfing in an asylum.

Fall Into Good Things... In An Instant!

Almost as convincing as "Spring Into Bad Decisions".

Julia Child!

She always added the exclamation point to her books.
Are we supposed to shout her name, a la sexual climax style?

Pay only for 4!

I didn't realize the "get one free" expression had become a faux pas.

Bloated and Unhealthy!

Well, this is beyond disgusting...
Now every time I binge on junk food I can blame it on parasites!

Yours for FREE!!

Look how excited they are to surrender an alleged $2,299 in profit!
If you believe this ad, I've got a bridge to sell you...

STRETCH MARKS!

What terrible Photoshopping... she has no room for abdominal organs.
Also, what exactly is a "CELLULTIE"?

YOU CAUGHT A PRIZE!

Ooh! I always wanted a [marine bag and cooler bag plano]!
I "caught" this prize? Was the treasure chest running away?

New You!

I keep the creative me in a cage in the basement,
 there's no need for a leash.

BUY 3 FOR THE PRICE OF 3!

Don't let the cooler door hit you in the ass on the way out...

Additional Months FREE!

My doctor gave me 30 days to live, but 3 more months? Sign me up!

Creepy Guy at Roller Skating Rink!

I promise I'm not as excited as you are about this subject matter.

instant access!

You can count on your friendly trademarked cartoon trash can buddy!

Paintball Park's in the USA!

Really? Of all the colors of paintball spooge, you picked white?
Also, nice apostrophe. Yeah, stick with the paintball biz.

SPIN TO WIN!

Why shop for breakfast when you can just gamble for it?
Also, what exactly is "extra cozi" peanut butter?